BY Magnus Davies
This week evolve members jumped on a check-in call with Mantality’s coach Rick Cooper. Rick specialises in helping men understand their values and help put them into practice. At Evolve, we have one monthly call hosted by either Rick or Mantality’s counsellor Jon Bell.
The way I would describe the monthly calls to someone who hasn’t been on one is a ‘life-enhancing seminar’. The zoom calls entail expert advice and guidance coupled with a check-in with how Evolve members are getting on.
We started off the call with a two-minute ‘grounding meditation’ to get us in the zone. After that everyone on the call took its turn to do a three-word check-in.
One thing that Rick said that really resonated with me is that it is common for us to sacrifice our values and boundaries in order to fit in.
The problem is that the price you pay for compromising your values is a costly one. In Rick’s words when you’re not living in alignment with your values you lack “intention, attention and retention”.
STRAYING AWAY FROM YOUR VALUES?
We’ve all been on a holiday where we have spent the week faltering away from our values. You might have eaten one too many kebabs, or felt like you have indulged in too much gossiping.
These are things that you would usually avoid but you compromise to feel a sense of belonging.
Sometimes our values escape us for more than just a week away. Sometimes we spend years doing things that are not true to our values.
WEEK 3 TASK
This week’s task in the Evolve programme is to figure out what our intrinsic values are so that we can set the right goals.
We were all born with a unique set of values that develop throughout our childhood and into adulthood.
We become more aware of these values when we get into heated political debates, or we don’t agree with the way someone has behaved. But, It’s easy to go through life unconscious to these values. Our intrinsic values are there whether we notice them or not.
What Rick said was “when we know what our values are, we can then implement a game plan. We can get clear on our goals and whether those goals are ones that are intrinsically motivating to us”.
Rick explained that no one is fundamentally lazy. If they appear to be lazy they have just set goals that are not aligned to their values.
Another member of Mantality, Chris, echoed this point when he said ‘when I was in my 20’s I used to want a 6 pack. But I would rarely be motivated to go to the gym. I later realised that having a 6 pack was not a true intrinsic motivation of mine’.